I got my new phone, so people can finally contact me after about a day and a half. I have CWRR this morning, and shitloads of other things to do. I sat down and started to write a song yesterday. It's not good at all, but it helped me get some things off my chest. Hello, I'm Katherine *insert last name here* and I have an addiction to makeup. My Anberlin drumstick is above my bed and it's a fantastic thing. I'm starting to find my place at Millikin, and I feel better. I put army men on Hessler Upper 1's TV. They're better than doing homework.
My life at Millikin is turning out okay for now. I don't really have any permanent friends that I can call to hang out with or something. At least, it doesn't feel like it. I'm getting through classes alright, but the whole self-directed practicing thing is kinda bugging me out. It's late. I have classes. B'aaaaw.
Lol, during my music theory class today I got a text from Lora saying 'I just had my first english class and I was like, fuck, I'm in college.' Heh, it's so true man. The first day seemed kinda easy but I feel like it's gonna be some weird slippery slope and I have butter on my feet.
Of course it only makes perfect sense that things end up like this. I always get all wound up.. for nothing, usually. It's like, what am I for? What am I doing wrong? Now I'm leaving, and leaving all the words you and I said behind, in my room where they will die in the impending lysol invasion. It may not seem that way, but you're probably really easy to forget. It's time for bigger, better things. I may seem like a flimsy paper screen, easy to blow over in the wind, but I'm not. I'm made of bricks. Strong bricks made by the mud and straw of hard work, dedication and ambition. And my ambitions don't include you. Go ahead, live your life. I'll live mine, without you.
So, I just commented on lovelyish's blog about Dane Cook calling out Vanessa Hudgens on her naked pic scandal. And it makes me think about whom we blame in certain situations.
In her case, was it her fault that her private life was leaked? Or was it the leaker himself? And whoever is to blame, do we only blame them because of all of the Moms that freaked out about it? Personally, I think the leaker is to blame, because Vanessa is human and capable of trust, which in turn is capable of being broken.
Anybody remember that lawsuit against McDonald's about the coffee incident, where an old woman suffered horrible burns because she spilled their coffee in the car? Who's to blame? Was it the old woman for making the decision to handle the coffee the way she did? Or was it McDonald's, who heated the coffee about 20-30 degrees above the temperature regulation? Regulations are there for safety, but since McDonald's wanted to cater to their customer's desires (which, in this case, was to have the coffee hot enough so that it would still be hot when they got to work in the morning), they put their customer's safety in jeopardy. People think that the old lady was crazy, but often they don't know the other half of the story. So, who's to blame?
The blame game is a strange thing. Sometimes we let the decision on who to blame go to people who don't know anything about why they're blaming that party.
Just a thought.
Sunday, 09 August 2009
"When will time stop being wasted? On shallow, reckless hellos and goodbyes? Cause even when my heart seems faded I'm addicted to the you that I tasted." me - song potential?
I saw Lora in Chicago today on her way to Lollapalooza and I started crying. I was obviously very happy to see her. Unfortunately I didn't spend the day with her, and instead spent the day with my parents at the Harry Potter exhibition. My dad is the worst person to take on trips. He never does the less complicated way to do things, especially if it's cheaper. Mom and I were almost gonna kick him in front of a bus because he insisted on walking all the way to the L (which is something we've never done, therefore we didn't know where it was) instead of just taking a taxi to the museum, which isn't as expensive as he thought it would. Of course we took the train back since we had more margin for error, but still, there was some tension. '
I'm feeling kind of serene lately. I'm looking back on my summer, and all of the good, bad and strange things about it. I'm also still kinda feeling a strange creative flow. It's like, I want to just unleash everything somewhere, but I feel like I can't even if I tried.
Ya know what would be great? A fantastic, magicalistic machine that decoded mixed messages. Or one that told me what I should do with my life.
9 1/2 days til college. I wonder, will life change that much once I move?
And for the love of God, someone tell me some ways I can rev up my libido.
Thursday, 06 August 2009
College in 12 days.
Lora's coming back from Croatia in 4. That means I only have about a week to spend with my bff.
I'm afraid to leave. D: I don't want to give up what I have here yet..
Haven't touched xanga for a while. Summer has been good to me. I cashed out my karma points on the Anberlin concert, scoring a meet and greet with the band, and all of their signatures on the drum stick I ripped out of Lora's hands. My relationship with my brother has stepped up a notch, like, adult to adult sibling relationship. Ashley seems a lot cooler now, and I met a hilarious Scotsmen. That was my fourth of July. Lora is going to Croatia, and I will be taking pictures everyday to show her on facebook. We'll be leaving for college like right after she gets back so its pretty unfortunate. I'm excited for college, though. I really am.
